Happiness Is.....

..... Chasing rainbows through the sunshine and showers, to the tunes of Tori's fabulous new album.

It's the heart that matters more

"They don't know how it feels to love some band, or some silly song, so much it hurts" - Sapphire, Almost Famous

I saw Counting Crows on Monday night, for about the eighth time. It was the first time I'd ever seen them do a full acoustic set, and it was.....incredible, transcendent, beautiful. Songs that I know like my oldest friends took on new personalities. Melodies twisted and meandered and exploded into kaleidoscopes of emotions. Adam was a storyteller, sitting at the edge of the stage or wandering across like a lost soul gesturing into a sky of stars. Spinning out tales of bittersweetness, of loving and losing, of memories and of dreams.

It was a perfect evening where time stood still and I was lost in the moment, the rest of the world ceased to exist. There was only me & a few thousand others with our senses captivated and our emotions overwhelmed.

Winter's over, be my darling

Spring is here. Emerged from my Shingles induced cocoon long enough to venture to the park, and found that one of my favourite things is happening - the blossoms are opening.



Also, a carpet of daffodils in the Spring Haze. Lovely.

So I've been forced to do virtually nothing for a week thanks to this virus. I'm sure resting has done me the world of good, but at the moment, I feel weak and lacklustre. Time to shake those feelings off, tomorrow we leave for the event of the year, the Big Three-Oh, our 30th birthday girls' holiday extravaganza in Hong Kong. Yippee. Better go and pack.....

I get a little warm in my heart, when I think of Winter...

Nostalgia - a bittersweet yearning for things of the past, defined by a physician named Johannes Hofer. He derived it from Nostos, meaning 'return' and algos, meaning suffering, 'so that thus far it is possible from the force of the sound Nostalgia to define the sad mood originating from the desire to return to one's native land.'

"And it was home: the fact that I hadn't lived there for years didn't change that. Nowhere was my sense of belonging so unambiguous"
- The Snow Geese, William Fiennes


I went home for a week. It did me good, rested me, gave me time to reflect, remember and relax. I had fun catching up with old friends - I'm not home very often anymore but it's so good to know that when I do get to go home, and have a chance to spend time with people there I've known for a long time, our friendships pick up where they left off. No awkwardness or falseness, just affection and laughter.


Pucklechurch got about 6 inches of snow. That's nothing by many countries' standards. In England, this meant life as normal came to a standstill. This meant no buses dared to take to the streets so no mega shopping trip to the new metropolis 'Cabot Circus' for me! Instead I spent some time wandering and enjoying the crisp air and dazzliest sunshine reflecting off the snow. Much better for the soul. Remember the satisfaction of being the first feet to tread through a fresh snowfall? Joy as pure and simple as the untouched blanket of snow.


I was a small child the last time that much snow fell. I remember walking up the path which led to the school door, the snow had been cleared from it and so created a sheer wall on either side that towered above me, in my red woolly bonnet I felt like a Siberian explorer braving an ice tunnel! A friend and neighbour, Sue, rescued my brother and I from school along with her own children once the school heating system had failed. We constructed an igloo in their garden with the help of their dad, Rick, then built barricades and had a snowball war. Happy memories, but tinted with the bittersweetness of childhoods past and loved ones gone.


But snow melts, Winters thaw into the warmth of Spring. A season of hope, new life, new beginnings.

I spent the weekend with my beautiful niece, we went swimming yesterday morning then to her music class in the afternoon. Spending time with her is the most amazing thing in the world, she is curious and clever, affectionate and hilariously funny. She makes my spirit soar, and I cannot wait to find out about her every adventure.

You've gotta learn to get a little happy along the way

A severe case of PMT the other day methinks. Plus a few other factors, bad day at work, grumpy boyfriend, miserable winter weather etc. One of my strengths is definately over-reacting. And I'm a born pessimist ;o) Two things not to mention in interviews.

Perspective is a wonderful thing, I felt like the world was going to end the other day. Part of this blog is learning to appreciate those moments where everything is perfect, to remember to be grateful and to be able to draw strength from them in the moments when you really need reminding that things ain't that bad, and always get better.

Langhorne Slim put it better than me:

Toss your misery, out the door
What are you waiting for?
You've got to learn to get a little happy, along the way
It's alright to change your style, it's alright to smile
It's alright to get a little happy along the way

Tough day at the office, and worse, not at home
Don't wanna talk about it, Just wanna be left alone
There's no joy in living,
You're giving all and getting none
It's a new beginning, you thought you lost, but honey you won.

New Years Resolution number 2: Take a deep breath and smile, or as wonderful blogger Fabulous Lorraine so perfectly put it, "Even One perfect minute a day.....Or one moment where you are completely happy, and take the time to acknowledge it and say so."

Last night my Pilates class did me the power of good, I got home feeling completely relaxed, had a candlelit bath listening to more Thea Gilmore (one of the more cheery albums though). That was pretty close to perfect, except for the bit where the PVR didn't record Masterchef, but never mind! Today I'm going to meet some old friends after work. We all worked in the same office together when I started my first job at the University. That was 7 years ago, I left the Uni 5 years ago, and we are all still good friends. It will be an evening of catching up, gossiping and laughing. That's pretty perfect. I'm lucky to have good friends. I'm happy.

Sometimes I feel it, you know how it is,
You wake up in the morning and everything fits
I'm still hoping tomorrow feels like this
My Perfect Day
- My Perfect Day, Feeder

A particularly perfect day - view from Mt Sunday (Edoras), December 2007

It’s so easy to drift through these things with your eyes half open

I've been listening to Thea Gilmore a lot lately. She was one of those singers that I'd heard many good things about, but never quite got around to checking out. After getting into the habit of reading Neil Gaiman's blog, I noticed he would rave about her fairly frequently. She probably gets a mention most weeks. With good reason, as it turns out. I reasoned that a music recommendation from one of my favourite writers was probably worth exploring, so I started with Avalanche. A-Mazing. Thea's songs range from the soft and emotional to sharp and clever, they are full of imagery that forms vivid pictures in your mind.

I got her new record Liejacker for my birthday (thanks Mum & Dad!) and I think it's my favourite of all. Soaring and emotional and full of some of the most evocative lyrics yet. I feel weary at the moment, sad for no clear reason and Dance in New York seems to sum up how I feel perfectly.

‘Cos I want to run run run fast as I can
Let those grey gloves wrap their fingers around my heart
I want to run run run so far from here
‘Till the streets of Manhattan just tear this waster apart
No I don’t wanna talk, I wanna dance in New York'

I used to carry my passport to work every day, because I'd pass a travel agent on my way. I would daydream of walking in and buying the first flight I laid my eyes on, disappearing into the blue and feel the world I knew melting away and giving way to change. For a long time I've been settled and happy but lately, maybe it's this time of year, which I hate, I am restless again, tired of fighting to stay afloat and functioning in daily life. Tired of explaining my frustrations and getting the same promises in return. I wonder if I am just a perfectionist or if other people feel the same, if I'll ever move past them or if I'm caught in a slowly rotating cycle, where mostly my eyes are half closed and then I open them and don't like where I am - I guess this is just me and my psyche. However I don't want to make this song the soundtrack to my year. You make your own happiness and somehow I need to recapture the optimism and joie de vivre that was bubbling in me so recently. Can't be that hard can it? I suspect that a long, good nights' sleep would do me the power of good.

Show me the ways to button up buttons...

Show me the ways to button up buttons...















That have forgotten they're buttons....















Well, we can't have that.











Coraline the movie! Can't wait. Coming to a cinema near you, very soon!