It’s so easy to drift through these things with your eyes half open

I've been listening to Thea Gilmore a lot lately. She was one of those singers that I'd heard many good things about, but never quite got around to checking out. After getting into the habit of reading Neil Gaiman's blog, I noticed he would rave about her fairly frequently. She probably gets a mention most weeks. With good reason, as it turns out. I reasoned that a music recommendation from one of my favourite writers was probably worth exploring, so I started with Avalanche. A-Mazing. Thea's songs range from the soft and emotional to sharp and clever, they are full of imagery that forms vivid pictures in your mind.

I got her new record Liejacker for my birthday (thanks Mum & Dad!) and I think it's my favourite of all. Soaring and emotional and full of some of the most evocative lyrics yet. I feel weary at the moment, sad for no clear reason and Dance in New York seems to sum up how I feel perfectly.

‘Cos I want to run run run fast as I can
Let those grey gloves wrap their fingers around my heart
I want to run run run so far from here
‘Till the streets of Manhattan just tear this waster apart
No I don’t wanna talk, I wanna dance in New York'

I used to carry my passport to work every day, because I'd pass a travel agent on my way. I would daydream of walking in and buying the first flight I laid my eyes on, disappearing into the blue and feel the world I knew melting away and giving way to change. For a long time I've been settled and happy but lately, maybe it's this time of year, which I hate, I am restless again, tired of fighting to stay afloat and functioning in daily life. Tired of explaining my frustrations and getting the same promises in return. I wonder if I am just a perfectionist or if other people feel the same, if I'll ever move past them or if I'm caught in a slowly rotating cycle, where mostly my eyes are half closed and then I open them and don't like where I am - I guess this is just me and my psyche. However I don't want to make this song the soundtrack to my year. You make your own happiness and somehow I need to recapture the optimism and joie de vivre that was bubbling in me so recently. Can't be that hard can it? I suspect that a long, good nights' sleep would do me the power of good.